John Cusack Is Ultra Soft and Super Absorbant

John Cusack tweeted the following in response to a comment by another user who was responding to a guy who tweeted that his toilet paper performs better than John Cusack in 2012.

Don't look very absorbant here, John

I’m glad you’re absorbant, John. I really am. It makes me wonder though… do you just like sit alone at home in your pajamas on a Friday night, checking your Twitter, having random Twit convos with randoms and reading NYTimes.com articles? Because, if so, that’s really really cute and nice and strange in a “wait, I thought your life was mundane, but in a significantly more glamorous way than mine??” kinda way. I suppose I should stop assuming that he does this in his pjs…

StopReadingHisTweets. StopThinkingAboutHim. StopWritingAboutHim. StopWorryingAboutHim. StopNoticingJohnCusack.

StopIt. StopIt. Stop.

I’m so tired of myself.

Should I go on match.com?

Omg, why did I just type that? I didn’t mean that. I don’t want to do that. Ignore that.

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