I’m Glad That Winona Ryder Is Still A Thief… of Christian Slater’s Heart


So one of my super duper favorite 80s flicks is Heathers. If you are unfamiliar (WTF), just think Mean Girls, but with more guns, more Levar Burton, and more strip croquet.

Anyway, somehow while at work yesterday I happened upon the following article from 2007 in which Christian Slater admitted to still having a bona’ fo’ Winona:

‘We crossed paths briefly in Sundance, but we don’t speak on a regular basis,’ he tells the Independent. ‘But I love her. I’ve never gotten over the crush I had on her then. She is still the woman of my dreams.’

The fact that he is still emotionally plagued by his lack of Winona-lovin’ 20 years later, and the fact that they are both flying solo right now makes me supremely happy, and renews my faith and fascination in unrequited love.

It also raises the question: does Ione Skye still have the secret mcHots for John Cusack? On the Say Anything special edition DVD audio commentary track with Ione, John and director Cameron Crowe, Ione admits that she was sexually aroused whilst filming the driving lesson scene contained in the clip below: (jump to 5:25 – 5:49)

In addition to that, she said that if it hadn’t been for the fact that she had a boyfriend at the time, she probably would have gone home with John after shooting that day. Way to be subtle, Ione.

It’s important to note that both Heathers and Say Anything came out in 1989, so these co-star crushes have both had 22 years to ripen into a beautifully nostalgic middle-aged sexual frustration. On that note, let’s take a look at what has transpired in the lives of these teen flick stars since 1989:

Christian Slater (42): Drank a lot. Sexually assaulted some women. Spent some time in jail. Married Ryan Haddon and made two kids. Divorced since 2007. Appeared in nearly 100 movies.

Winona Ryder (40): Almost married Johnny Depp. Serial dated a billion musicians. Abused drugs. Tried to shoplift from Saks Fifth. Got arrested. Fell off the face of the earth. Reappeared as a swan wannabe (a swannabe?) in 2o1o’s Black Swan. Appeared in nearly 50 movies.

Ione Skye (41): Married a Beastie Boy (lol, Ad-Rock). Got divorced. Briefly lezzed out with Jenny Shimizu. Made a kid with David Netto. Married Ben Lee, then made another kid. Appeared in 50 movies, yet regretted her career arc.

John Cusack (45): Emotionally assaulted some women. Rejected a run for the presidency. Earned a level 6 Ukidokan kickboxing black belt, and the reputation of ‘asshat’. Filed a restraining order against this woman. Learned Twitter. Appeared in 60 movies.

Their stories are all mildly tragic and wrought with poor decisions of some form or another. In other words, these kids are inspirational.

I don’t care if Ione’s with Ben Lee. He’s got nothin’ on John, who is apparently “built like a stallion.” And if there’s one thing that Winona Ryder is good at, it’s stealing… spotlights, hearts, expensive clothing, whatever. Whether or not she ever sees Slater again, she’ll have him wrapped around her finger for life.

{Also, can I just add that in my dream last night, I was way groped by Cillian Murphy? I’m cool with it.}


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