Last one in this set. I swear. I will be back with new, more recent (more coherent) recalls in a few days.
The following took place in a dream. There was some discussion about how someone could be so upset (presumably from a break-up), that they would vomit. I remember having a dream discussion with someone about a friend of theirs who was so heartbroken that they immediately started vomiting. We talked about the merits of vomiting as a response to being dumped. This apparently signified true love and devotion.
After we had discussed who was showing their video on which date, everyone decided it was time to throw a party. Everyone got completely sloshed, except for me and him. People were throwing liquor on each other, making mud out of alcohol and dirt on the floor, and flinging it against walls. He convinced me to join the party, and somehow I got caught in the cross-fire. I was dressed really well and hadn’t wanted to get dirty, so this really pissed me off. I tried to start cleaning up after everyone, but of course I couldn’t stay mad at him.
I was still at his place, dressed rather nicely, but now covered in red liquor and vomit. He comes through the loft, putting on a nice coat, and saying that he’s going over to her house to watch a movie. He puts his hands on my shoulders and says I should have fun, but he lingers. The exchange was weird, and we both knew it. There was so much tension there. I just remember thinking “motherfucker just stabbed me in the heart”. My dream self kept thinking over and over again, he always does this to me. He always leaves when I want him to be there the most. He just up and leaves.
I walked into his basement to find everyone passed out next to pools of vomit and/or they were still vomiting. I tip-toed around, trying not to step in anyone’s puke. A few people were taking handfuls of their own puke and chucking it across the room at each other. I tried to avoid that as well. I was just so distraught. I felt deserted. Like he had deserted me.
Later on I was talking to someone who I believe was Andrea Hewitt, and Nika was standing nearby, and I was recounting for Andrea the story of what had happened. Andrea told me that she had actually spoken with him sometime shortly after the incident. He apparently had told her that the movie with Nika was good, but that he felt like things had been weird with me beforehand. I told Andrea that I that was true…..and part of me felt hopeful. If he actually considered the fact that it had been weird, did that mean he was remorseful for leaving?